finally and most importantly, about true greatness.

"As sinfully and culturally defined, pursuing greatness looks like this: Individuals motivated by self-interest, self-indulgence, and a false sense of self-sufficiency pursue selfish ambition for the purpose of self-glorification.
Contrast that with the pursuit of true greatness as biblically defined: Serving others for the glory of God. This is the genuine expression of humility; this is true greatness as the Saviour defined it."


In light of the tennis hype in our house last week, it was timely for me to read the following chapter on true greatness, again from CJ Mahaney's book. DId i mention to you that I love this book?? you should read it!! I typed up almost a whole chapter here, which might seem to you like a wasteful use of my time except for that it was soaking into my head a bit more (i hoped) and I'm really hoping it will be helpful for you, too:

As I understand it, parenting is about preparation. Preparation for our children's future and preparation for the fast-approaching day of final judgment. If you are a father or mother, let me ask you: How's the preparation going? What is your plan for preparing your child? What are the content and goals of your preparation? What kind of legacy will you be leaving for your son or daughter? Have you given this much thought? You should.

If humility is to endure in our families and churches, it must be cultivated by parents and pastors and passed on to our families and churches. Thats why i feel it is most appropriate for us to consider this topic before our time together is completed.

REmember James and John? It might surprise you to discover that Mom was there as well to ensure that her boys would one day sit at Jesus' right hand and left hand in His glory. Mark doesn't mention MOm in his account, but Matthew tells on her in his Gospel. She didn't just encourage her sons to make this request of the Saviour, she came and knelt before Jesus (wouldn't you have loved to be there for this?) and implored Him, "Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom." (Matthew 20:21). She was ambitious for her boys.

If you're a parent, I ask you to consider carefully your influence on your children and your responsibility for them. WHat are your ambitions for them? Almost all parents have ambitions for their children, but how many harbor ambitions for their children that are biblical?

Do your ambitions for your son or daughter include a certain vocation or a certain level of education? Graduation from a certain college? Professional or athletic or artistic recognition? IF so, let me ask this: Are any of these ambitions in line with true greatness as defined in Scripture?

And here's a more important question: Are any of your ambitions for your child more important to you than their cultivation of humility and servanthood - the basis for true greatness as biblically defined? Are any of these ambitions more important to you that their learning to serve others for the glory of God? In other words, are you more interested in temporal recognition for your child than you are in his eternal reward?

Ultimately, thats what parenting is mostly about - its about preparing our children for the final day. All parenting is ultimately a preparation for that day when your child will stand before the jdugment seat of Christ and give an account.

As a fellow sinful parent, let me explore with you what it can mean to adopt true greatness as our ambition for our children. To help your child become truly great in the eyes of God, here are some recommendations - not an exhaustive list, but i hope you find them helpful.

FIrst and foremost, parents are to be an example of greatness for their children. Modeling precedes teaching. We cannot teach or train our children if we dont' provide a pattern or a model for them to follwo. I don't mean being a flawless example; this isn't about perfection. I'm speaking simply of the presence of grace in our lives as regularly demonstrated by serving others to the glory of God.

Effective teaching, in fact, involveds explaining to our children what they're already observing in our lives by example. WE should never divorce biblical instruction from personal example.

If you want to adopt this ambition for your child - true greatness in the eyes of God - you must begin by examining your own life and asking yourself, Am I an example to my children of true greatness as defined in Scripture?

Second, we must also clearly define true greatness for our children. Do your children understand the biblical definition of true greatness as Jesus explains it in Mark 10 and as we see it taught elsewhere in Scripture?

Third, we must teach our children to discern and admire true greatness. Here's a question for your children: "Whom do you admire most and why?" Their answer will tell you a lot.

OUr culture daily celebrates those who are clearly not great in the eyes of God. ANd to a certain degree our chidlren cannot escape the world's influence. But are they able to see through the hype? Are they able to turn their attention away from these false heroes and to instead admire those who are truely great as biblically defined?

I could point to countless ways in which our culture adulates and glorifies the undeserving- espeically in the broad category of entertainment that includes professional actors, athletes and musical artists. Are your children slowly and subtly being conformed to this world as it relates to thier admiration and emulation of these celebrities?

Here's a recommendation: If you're a parent, dont' celebrate anything more than you celebrate godly character in your children. I commend and encourage my son for academic achievement or an athletic award, but we break out into real celebration around my house only when there's a demonstration of humility, servanthood, or godly character.

What are you most passionate about for your children? What do you celebrate in your children? When are they the object of your public commendation and celebration? Let's make sure our commendation and celebration are theologically informed. Let's make sure we are high-lighting that which really matters in teh eyes of God. Let's make sure we reserve true celebration for that which is truly great in the eyes of God.

Take athletics, for example. You should know that I love all things athletic. I myself have been active in strenuous athletics all my life, so its not like I'm some uncoordinated geek who's now seizing an opportunity to display his inner resentment toward people who are athletically superior. That's not what this is about.

HEre's what it is about: Nowhere is the work great mentioned more often in our culture than in the context of professional sports. If you watch any game this weekend and listen to teh announcer's commentary, then like a mantra you'll probably hear the word great repeated throughout - great, great, great. Yet it may well be that nowhere in our culture is the absence of true greatness more evident than in professional sports. So be careful about cultivating an excessive love for professional or collegiate athletics in your child.

...Did you ever wonder what God thinks as He watches all this celebration of supposed greatness in professional athletics? I can tell you one thing for sure: He's not impressed. If anything, He's grieved over the exaggerated celebration.

That doesn't mean its wrong to cheer - that we should jsut listlessly stare and say to our kids: "Don't clap!". Thats not what I'm saying at all. I cheer and my kids cheer, but I also seek to impart discernment.

Who do your children most admire? Who would they say is truly great? Who do they speak about most passionately, most often? Who are they most enthusiastic about? An actor or musician? An athlete? A political figure?

Wouldn't a better choice be someone in your church? The local church is filled with truly great people. Every sunday morning in the local church, true greatness is on full display in those who are faithfully serving others for God's glory. Teach your children to discern and admire true greatness there. Don't just passively attend the Sunday meeting; prepare your chidlren for it and teach tehm to admire the men and women all around them who are truly great.

After the church service, talk together about the examples of greatness you've seen. Thats a good topic for Sunday mealtime conversation - much better than subtle put-downs of the style and substance of the sermon, or critiques of the appearance or behaviour of the people who were there.

My final suggestion to parents is to intentionally teach your children to serve - and whenever possible, serve in the church with your child.

Your family's higher purpose is to serve the local church. Its true that one reason the local church exists is to equip your family, but that isn't its ultimate purpose; meanwhile, your family's ultimate purpose is to serve in the context of the local church for God's glory. The church is the true family of God, and you have the privilege to serve in the church not only as an adult but also with your child.

Finally, if you're a parent, be assured that parenting is somethign God has called you to and that He has personally assigned your children to you both for their good and for your sanctification. They're gifts from God, and they come with all the grace you need to prepare them for their future - and in particular, for the day when you'll appear with them before the judgment seat of Christ. What can you do today so that on that day you and your children will hear the words "Well done"?